Living Now

I have neglected you, my blog. Many apologies.

Have you heard the phrase "live like you're dying?" It's the idea that if you found out at this moment that you had only 1 month left to live, you would start living (loving) life much differently, mainly doing all of those things that make you happy. So why not be happy now?

I've been thinking a lot about mortality as of late...I've been to 2 memorial services so far this year, I've taken note of how everyone in my family is just a little bit older, I'M a little bit older, I think of my father's memorial service 7 years ago and how difficult time that was. I don't like memorial services. They make me sad, uncomfortable, I never know what to say or how to act. Which is foolish, really...I mean, why should I behave any differently? In a way it's silly for me to react this way to death...since I was young I accepted the idea of reincarnation, and I believe that I, and everyone else, continue on after death to our next journey, whatever that might be. That is, I have a strong belief that is well-defined about what happens after death, therefore, I should have no fear of it. But, lately, I've found myself to be a little bit...afraid. Not afraid of death itself really, but feeling that I have fulfilled my desires and duties here on earth.

"Live life like you are dying."

So I think to myself, what would I do differently if I knew my time was up?

1. Let go of everything that is out of my control.

Funny, because we really should adhere to this concept anyway. But for me specifically, that means not getting all depressed about why I have not "made it" in the way that I have dreamt of. That's not to say I should not continue to chase my dreams, but why beat myself up when I don't get what I want? I'll be honest with you, I do this A LOT. And it's stupid...we shouldn't beat up on ourselves at all. Let go. Make wishes on the wind, and let the wind carry them to the right places. And, while the wind blows, enjoy the breeze.

2. I would tell those I love that I love them much more often.

Enough said.

3. I would stop living my my own self-built jail.

That is, I would stop talking myself out of things before I even start on them. I would travel to all of those places I want to travel to and stop worrying about needing to be here at all times. I would go dancing because I want to. Take surf lessons because I want to. Sing because I want to. Publish my own book if I want to. Ya know? Stop coming up with excuses for "why not."

4. I would no longer be a victim.

That is, I would not allow outside people/factors to control my life. I'll let you chew on that for a while...this is actually going to take up a whole chapter in my book, should I ever get around to putting it together.

5. I would relish in what is TRUELY important.

Friends. Family. Laughter. Love. Smiles. Puppies (and kitties, too).

Generally, I would enjoy life more. Now, if I were really dying, I would binge a little bit, too, but for the living body, this is not healthy, so i'll leave that out. :)

The question is, how does one embody all of these things in the NOW? Just do it. Make it a part of your vision and it will begin to happen, and then practice and practice and practice.

That's all I have to say about that.