Purging

I've had the immense (dis)pleasure of purging many a thing from my life as of late. It is a please in logic, as I know it means I make making way for better things to come. But only in logic...the body and the heart have a much different experience.

I was so proud of myself for not getting sick (as if I had some say in the matter). Then, after a (thankfully) long and busy week, Bronchitis hit me like a piano falling from above. The upside to this was that it helped me quit smoking, which, in and of itself, is a painful process. So, as I lay sick in bed staring at the tele, frustrated that I could not be more productive, I imagined that the sickness was merely a 'withdrawal' of all of the bod things that were in my body....the nicotine, the tar in my lungs, the inorganic chemicals in my body from the food I eat, the alcohol I consume, etc. Perhaps in my visualization I helped my body rid itself of these nasties a little more. *I have not smoked in a week, but I still crave cigarettes.

Then there is the obvious, the break-up, which is an emotional sensation I can say I hate more than just about anything. I will say no more about this.

And the move! I hate moving...it is such a tedious process. But what a better analogy for 'moving forward.' During the process of packing and transporting I purge those things which are not necessary...and right now I purge as much as I can, a symbol of letting go of things that no longer serve me. I hope that my new (sorta new, sorta going back to where I was before) location will help to offer me a fresh start.

And that's not all, but nothing more work mentioning here. Not looking for a pity party, just a place to express how I feel today, which honestly, is pretty shitty. lol But we pull through, don't we? We move forward. And for the better. Sometimes I need to remind myself that. :)